October 19th, 2014: News Bulletin

[LOKI LAUFEYSON]

DAILY BUGLE

OCTOBER 19th, 2014

MAYHEM AT ANTI-REGISTRATION EVENT ARE EARTH'S MIGHTIEST SHOOTING THEMSELVES IN THE FOOT? BY KATHERINE FARRELL So... how about them superhumans, folks? In a few months that has seen repeated break-in attempts at New York's S.H.I.E.L.D base, monsters roaming the streets of the city, coupled with unexplainable events and unsolvable murders (whatever did happen to that poor young lady found dead in The James, Soho Hotel?), all culminating in a disastrous fundraiser at Washington's Kelly Memorial Centre, one can only hope that my fellow colleague, Elizabeth Brant, is eating her words in support of mutants and superhumans now. I certainly do. For those of you who weren't there to witness the events personally, or failed to catch coverage of the aftermath on WABC, it seems the world has become open to alien attacks once again. War criminal, Loki, put in appearance at the fundraising event, geared towards opposing the very act that could have prevented such mayhem from ever taking place. Some of you may have forgotten (and those of you who have; seriously?), but Loki, better known as the brother of Thor, attempted to lead an alien invasion of New York over two years ago, leaving a trail of questions and chaos in his wake. Though, one of those questions has since been answered, and the answer is a resounding: We are not alone. The 'R.A.G.E' fundraiser event, as it is becoming more commonly known as - and how very suitable indeed - was being hosted by Robert Armitage himself, to raise awareness to the dangers of implementing such a piece of legislation as the Superhuman Registration Act. If the British Philanthropist raised awareness of anything, it was that advanced beings such as Loki cannot swan about in our world unchecked. The Kelly Memorial Centre is currently under reconstruction following the devastating events of the 'R.A.G.E' fundraiser, which saw several attendants and attendees lose their lives after they were skewered upon, what can only be described as, spikes made of ice. The war criminal, Loki, has since been taken into custody, or so we have been told. I attempted to contact a spokesperson for Mr Armitage, but Ms Strassburg declined to comment, claiming that the events of the R.A.G.E fundraiser had left them all very shaken up. And to her credit, Ms Strassburg did indeed sound quite choked up over the phone. Perhaps there is in fact more truth to those rumours circulating concerning the relationship between Armitage and Strassburg than meets the eye? We do know that Mr Armitage was injured during the resulting chaos, and who could blame Ms Strassburg for being too upset to talk? After all, it was his own pursuit for fairness and equality for all that has put him in this rather precarious position, which begs the question: If these advanced beings are so intent on painting targets on anyone and everyone, even those who seek to support them, are they really entitled to the fairness and equality Mr Armitage has been lobbying for? But more importantly, what does this mean for the Superhuman Registration Act? Will the government finally see the necessity for such an important piece of legislation? Or will they continue to give Earth's so-called Mightiest chance after chance to prove themselves as saviours? Only time will tell. In other news, who is Tony Stark's new squeeze? And what does this mean for the business tycoon's relationship with C.E.O Pepper Potts? Is this a case of out with the old and in with the new? Well, in light of the rising interest in Frost International, which is already locking horns with Stark Industries in the stock market, can one really blame the billionaire for seeking solace in the arms of another? Watch this space for further updates on Tony Stark's mystery woman, and whether or not America's hottest bachelor has finally decided to do away with that age-old moniker.

thanks brooklyn from caution and atf!