BUGLE TV - August 18th, 2016

[☆ NPC ☆]

JOHN JONAH JAMESON

“Welcome New York to another edition of 'You Don't Like it, Learn to Love It' with J. Jonah Jameson. On tonight's show I am going to touch on what has become a menace to the way of life for millions of citizens not only in our country, but the world. Of course I am referring to the crass and uncontrolled actions of these so called 'superhuman' and enhanced individuals. I hate to say it... actually, I don't... but I told you so. I have been the voice for the common man and some women... okay, I have been told our ratings are not very good with the female demographic but we are changing that by having a section devoted to recipes, kitchen utensils, make-up, shopping, gossips, and swimsuits. Anyway, for years now, ever since that Avengers Initiative came to the scene during the Chitauri invasion some years ago and managed to mess things more than they helped, I have been the sole voice of reason in a sea of fools. And now, these... these... people had crossed the line. As if it wasn't enough that they caused destruction everywhere they go, that they are running unchecked for so long and together with the mutant problem have been a problem from day one, but now they have had the audacity of attacking one of the city's most beloved and respected landmarks. The most influential establishment in the city and dare I say the world has been cowardly and deliberately targeted by these people. I am talking about the raid on The Hellfire Club.

“I wonder – and I am sure you, the audience, wonder this as well – when will the United Nations and the so called World Security Council finally pull their heads out of their asses and enact a comprehensive Superhumans Registration Act? Talks and talks and talks... that is all those losers do, but we see no action. One would have suspected that after what that loudmouth Tony Stark did to the world by unleashing that Ultron thingymagilly, they would have put the billionaire in a cage, throw away the key and then throw the cage into the Atlantic ocean... but nooooooo. One would have thought that after that, not to mention the attack at the Triskellion in Washington, the Ryker's Island incident, and the assassination – by a woman in the WSC top five most wanted list – of Councilman Malick, that the U.N. and the Council would have stopped being pantywaists roody pooh candyasses and finally rid us of this menace. Especially that devious and dangerous Spider-Man and the rest of his ilk.

“That a tree-hugging, tea-loving, bleeding heart like Sir Richard Armitage would defend these vermin is bad enough and in my opinion he is no better than a traitor to humanity. How can we trust a man who drinks tea? That itself should raise flags, because no self-respecting person would drink tea over coffee. Real Americans drink coffee and okay, I know he is not American but he should be! But of course, he is British, so that explains a lot. No wonder we kicked their asses in World War One...”

PRODUCER: “Mr. Jameson, we were allies of the British in WWI.”

“What? We were? Whatever! Correct me again and you're fire! Oh and by the way, in a couple of days we are going to release a story of how corrupt that man is, as we have confirmed that he is even worst than Stark, who apparently got himself a new plaything, according to sources. In the case of Armitage... of course he is. All liberal bleeding hearts, kumbaya singing morons take 'peace and love' to the extreme. And by extreme I mean they bed anything with a pulse! Anyway, that is bad enough, but that the WSC would actually listen to a British 'fish and chips' is mind-boggling. I miss Councilman Malick already, a man of integrity, decisiveness and balls! I wonder if Armitage's love for mutants and superhumans is because he is having perverted trysts with some of them. Most probably, as we have evidence that he is sleeping with one particular mutant that our sources have identified as a member of the Brotherhood, that group founded by that old bastard Erik Leshner. Yep, you heard it right. Our good Sir Armitage patronizes with possible members of the Brotherhood.

But the question is, when will the U.N. and the WSC listen to us, the good, hard-working, respected, and NORMAL people of the world? Political correctness means nothing when our very way of life is threatened by people that have an advantage over us. And as I said, they have now crossed the line by trying to raid the Hellfire Club, an establishment in which common people like myself, who happened to have millions of dollars, can have innocent fun patronizing with our peers. I want to start a campaign so your voices could be hear by the sissy ass members of the WSC: 

#passtheregistrationactorwewillriotbecauseSpidermansucksandwehatehim.


And I am also starting: 

#JjonahforthepositionofcouncilmanoftheWSCbecauseheknowsbestandwestillhateSpiderman.

Get them both trendy.

"Anyway, Miss Minerva Davenport, spokesperson for the Hellfire Club released the following statement in the aftermath of the raid at club:

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“I am honored to say that I know both Ms. Frost and her personal assistant Ms. Davenport personally and that we have a deep, cordial, and intimate friendship. She has always agreed with my views. But this has to stop. I command the WSC to finally ratify the damn Superhuman Registration Act or very soon we will have another Ultron to deal with and this time we will not be lucky. We have to take a short break and a word from our sponsors...” [/blockquote]