Post by NATASHA ROMANOFF on Apr 22, 2016 9:14:12 GMT -5
“Lighten up, Maria! I don't see anything wrong with it! I have seen worst during carnival season... believe me.” Natasha said as she stared at her image reflected in a big mirror in the bathroom of the hotel room as she examined her very 'Mardi Gras' outfit, a combination top and skirt which revealed her quite strong looking legs and upper body. It has been quite a while since the last time she actually wore anything besides her tactical Widow's Suits, so it felt good that for at least a few day she could be a normal woman... if being enhanced by the Erksine Formula and being the world's top assassin, not to mention an Avenger, could be called normal. The Black Widow had to create two full 'legends', one for herself and another for he companion, Maria Callasantos. She managed to get a reservation at one of the most expensive hotels in New Orleans even though it was tricky because the hotel was booked. But that was nothing a little creative hacking couldn't solve and Natasha changed some dude's reservations and added herself and Maria in it. They were to pose as two wild and crazy tourists out for some raunchy time in the infamous Mardi Gras. One thing was certain, some poor soul would arrive at the hotel and find out that he has a room no more! Not that she cared... screw him! Probably some unfaithful wanker cheating on his wife... served him right!
After confirming that she looked awesome, she sauntered out of the bathroom and rolled her eyes at her companion. “We are in the Big Easy, woman! Mardi Gras, baby! What is a mission if we can't have a little fun while carrying it out? All work and no play makes Widow a very angry bitch! Besides, as your boss I command you to have fun!” She added and then looked outside the window at the city, as the sun began to set down. It was going to be awesome. The food alone would be worth the trip. Jambalaya! Interestingly, in all her ninety-eight years of living, Natasha has never been in New Orleans, but she has been in Rio de Janeiro a truckload of times and most of those times during carnival season. She remembered one particular time – actually her first time in the city – when she... it's too naughty to say! Anyway, this was something she needed, after all the shit that happened during the Ultron threat. Once again she almost died not once, but twice, during the assault at HYDRA Island. Strucker... and then Loki... she sure knew how to pick them.
But she was not there just to have fun. Both women were there tracking an HYDRA agent that might have some vital information concerning HYDRA's movements and plans. She was especially interested in finding out their new base of operation or at the very least find out the location of other bases. After the whole mess at Boca Caliente and HYDRA Island, the group seemed to once again adapt, which was something Natasha actually admired about them. For months, her sources inside former SHIELD had dried up and she had no targets to hit. So in a way the outfit worked, if the agent was a guy, because she could maybe get close. Even the most seasoned HYDRA goon would have no defense against her charms... come on! Look at her! Of course not! The only snag in the plan was that she did not know the identity of the agent, but she did know some sort of meeting was going to take place, so here she was.
Back at her new safe-house – she had to leave the Widow's Ranch because it was compromised, which sucked, by the way, because she loved the place – she ran through the list of her Secret Avengers to see who she would take with her on this mission. For a moment she considered bringing Steve with her and maybe they'd pose as hubby and wifey in their honeymoon... and that idea died an early death! Steve in Mardi Gras? Are you kidding? He probably die of blushing or act so boyscout-ish that would look extremely out of place! She also considered Hill, but that woman didn't know how to have fun even if it bit her in the ass! Kitty... on the other hand, would go crazy and be as subtle as a hammer blow to the head. Peter Parker was a good candidate, as he could pose as a photojournalist, but then again, she wanted to keep his identity hidden from the others and besides, he was just a runt and New Orleans during Mardi Gras was no place for runts. Also, she was trying hard to hook him with Kitty, just to get Kitty away from Stark!
At the end she decided in favor of Callasantos. Not only was the woman trained in these sort of missions, but also it was a good chance for the two women to patch things up between them. There has been a bit of animosity between them ever since Natasha revealed to the team that Nick Fury was alive, and if Feral wanted to be part of the Secret Avengers, there couldn't be conflict between its members, especially not with the commander of the group. What better way than going to Mardi Gras and tear the place down while at the same time capturing and torturing a HYDRA bozo? Nothing said 'I love you' more than two women working together to beat the crap out of a HYDRA guy. “You are killing me, Maria. You complain about my outfit and yet look at yours. The whole point of clothes is to cover your.” She said smiling as she brushed her hair and put on a Mardi Gras mask just because... well... to avoid being recognized? Whatever. She was eager to get going and parteeeeyyyyy.
Another positive about the mission was that she got away from everyone... well, except Callasantos... at least for a while. The X-men were getting on her nerves and so were the Avengers and her own team. One particular X-men too... that objectionable Cajun feck off of a mutant Remy. The only reason she haven't shoot him in the face already was because Rogue was always defending him. She was sure Kitty was on her side and would encouraged her to shoot the bastard, but Rogue... that woman had issues! And don't get her started about the rest of the 'Alliance'. Tony and his whole new shtick of feeling guilty was driving her to insanity, Thor was as conversational as a doorknob, Steve was... Steve and Clint was getting on her nerves with his constant scolding about her going into HYDRA Island on her own. Then she had her own Secret Avengers. She picked up an amazing group of comrades, but they were all a pain in her well rounded ass! Kitty was pissing her off with her obsession with Stark, Alexis was another who had no taste in men, the new guys were... whatever and Hill was as stiff as a concrete wall. At least Spidey was funny, but obnoxious as all hell. It made her longed for Loki or Kasandra or Strucker trying to kill her. At least that was fun! The ironic thing was that, of all of them, Callasantos was actually the more bearable one... funny how that worked out.
There was a knock at the door and she opened it to reveal a very wide eyed young man – probably not older than twenty one – with a room service trait. Right, the food she ordered. She gave him a pretty smile. “Ah me lad, you're a lifesaver... bring it in sunny boy.” she said in a very thick Scottish accent because... why not? She was in character, as her legend was a Scottish tourist with her best friend visiting the world famous Mardi Gras. She led the young man into the room, sauntering because... of course she would. She noticed that his eyes grew even wider when he saw Maria. “There shoul' be about right, sunshine. Don' mind me friend here. She might look always pissed off, but she doesn't bite... hard.” She said, giggling and winking at him. She really had missed making men squirm. She used to do so many honeytraps back in the day and they were fun. Men were so easy to dupe. But alas, it has been a while.
She handed the young man a crisp twenty dollars bill. “There ya go laddy. Ain't ya cute as a button.” If he wasn't drooling by then, he was now. "T.t.thank you miss. I... eh... if you need anything, anything at all, my name is Michael and I... eh... I'll be glad to...I don't know... maybe be your guide in the city... eh... when I am off duty... I...” He was saying but already Natasha was guiding him out of the room. “You're a munchable sweetcake, lad. Ay, you are.” she said and slammed the door on his face before he could finish the sentence. Then in her normal accent. “That boy is at his peak of adorableness. See how nice I am, Maria. I even bought you dinner. First we stuff our faces and then we party!” She added and started to wolf-down the food. It was going to be a long day and night and she was going to need her calories.
Sometime Later...
“CHUG! CHUG! CHUG! CHUG!” a group of fratboys shouted in unison as Natasha downed a humongous mug of beer. Actually, it was her fourth in less than four minutes and some of the fratboys were already bringing her the fifth one. The guys were fools... they thought she was going to get drunk that way. No chance in hell. Natasha could put out quite a lot of alcohol before she could even get a buzz. Another sad side-effect of the Erksine Formula. She could not get drunk unless it was with some Asgardian ale... beer was like water to her. She wiped her mouth and let out a long 'ahhhhh' as she slamed the mug down into the table, with cheers of the guys all around her. She saw the fifth mug and smirked coquettishly. “You lads are naughty! You have to drink with or is not fair, nay, is not.” She said with that over the top Scottish accent and stared at Maria. She was going to drink them all to oblivion. Served them right. “Me friend needs another beer... which one of you strapping young lads would buy it for her?” She added, grinning ear to ear.
@feral
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