Post by ☆ NPC ☆ on Feb 12, 2015 16:36:15 GMT -5
DAILY BUGLE
thanks brooklyn from caution and atf!
FEBRUARY 12th, 2015
METAL MUTANT GIANT GOES ON A RAMPAGE!!! SO HOW'S THAT AMNESTY SHAPING UP NOW? BY J. JONAH JAMESON Yeah... so that happened. So, for those of you who weren't there to capture this glorious spectacle in person, we were (harhar!) and we're bringing it to you now. Almost two months after that Mutant Amnesty thingamabob was granted, one of those mutants who was given a pass went on a rampage. That's right, folks, a rampage. Stories remain divided on what exactly went down, but there are some things we know for certain folks. 1) Some mutant, comprised entirely of metal, went ballistic; 2) Another mutant was killed. By the hands of aforementioned ballistic mutant? We can't confirm that with absolute certainty. 3) His name is 'Colossus', apparently. Obviously some kind codename. What is he, a stripper? 4) S.H.I.E.L.D were there, but then again, they're apparently everywhere. 5) A S.T.R.I.K.E team was called in to 'manage' the situation. Stand up job, fellas. 6) It has been confirmed, with absolute certainty, that Robert Armitage and Nita Strassburg were on the scene. Looks like they've kissed and made up. Ain't that sweet, and with Valentine's Day just around the corner too. Makes you wonder whose gonna be warming Tony Stark's bed this year... you know, aside from every woman in the greater Manhattan area. Anyway, back on track. What number was I on? Oh yeah! 7) The giant metal mutant has been detained. Well, I'm certainly sighing with relief, folks, now if they could make good on their intentions to get these maniacs good and registered, maybe we wouldn't have to sigh with relief every damn time one of them blows a gasket!? I, for one, am truly sick and tired of reporting on these nutcases, and I'm pretty sure you wonderful people are sick and tired of hearing about them. If the SRA were enforced tomorrow, it would be too late at this point in time. In other news, was anyone else aware of the fact that Warren Worthington II, the guy who created the mutant Cure, died a couple of months ago? News to me. And how about that Hellfire Club party, folks? Quite the night, aye? But what is up with Emma Frost's assistant? Is she straight? Is she gay? Has sexual fluidity become a sort of thing nowadays? Clearly, I'm getting old... |
thanks brooklyn from caution and atf!